A Reddit user sought advice online after being told their decision to exclude their siblings from their will was “harsh.” However, many internet users disagreed with the user’s friends and encouraged them to stand by their choice.
The post, shared on December 25 by u/Magewood115, quickly gained attention, amassing 6,600 upvotes. Explaining the strained family dynamic, the user shared that their brother, 30, and sister, 25, have lived “very far” away for over a decade.
“They never bothered to include me as a sibling growing up and have continued the tradition into adulthood,” they wrote. “Contact is sparse at best, and only when initiated by a mutual [third] party, never voluntary on their end, and all attempts from me are ignored.”
Recently, u/Magewood115 received a medical diagnosis that prompted them to revisit their living will.
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“[It’s not] looking good, and I wanted to ensure that, should the worst come, my affairs would be in order over the next few years,” they wrote. The user added that their siblings would not inherit anything, with all assets designated for their parents instead.
The post concluded with the user addressing suggestions from friends to include their siblings in the will. However, they expressed strong reservations:
“Any interactions have been largely negative over the past 10-15 years. I could[n’t] care less what happens after I’m gone, but I don’t want what I worked hard for to go to them.”
This situation reflects broader trends in estate planning. According to a May 2021 Gallup survey of 1,016 adults aged 18 and older, only 46 percent of Americans have a will, a figure that has remained steady since 1990. Notably, just 20 percent of adults under 30 reported having a will, highlighting a lack of preparation among younger generations. These statistics demonstrate how estate planning is often neglected until a major life event or diagnosis forces people to address it.
Newsweek discussed the post with Becky Whetstone, founder and principal at Marriage Crisis Manager in Arkansas.
“This person can leave their assets to whomever they choose and not be an ***hole,” Whetstone said. “It always fascinates me when clients have expectations about family members’ estates. I tell them, ‘Live your life like you’ll get nothing, and if you get something, be pleasantly surprised.’
“Who we leave our stuff to is a personal decision, and no one knows someone’s family experience except that person. It’s not our business to judge that.
“A lot of family relationships are one-sided. With all the personalities involved, it’s not reasonable to expect everyone to get along and treat each other the same. Every family has difficult dynamics and individuals with varying levels of connection. While feeling like an outsider in your own family can be painful, it often doesn’t change much over time.”
Reddit Reacts
So far, the top comment has 4,000 upvotes.
It said: “NTA It doesn’t matter that they are blood-related or related by law or whatever. Your property is your property, and you can do and give it to whomever you want to. It [doesn’t] matter what your feelings are on it, it’s yours to do as you wish to. Give to your parents, OK. Give it to your great great great great great granddaughter on her ninth birthday, as you wish. If what you provided is all the details and is true, then strike everybody out the will as you wish.”
Another user said: “NTA! First off, I’m sorry that you’re so young and having to face this issue. But your parents are your next of kin and would thus have to deal with anything you leave behind should the worst happen. You’re just letting them know what you want to happen. Assure your friends that you’re aware that your parents can do whatever they want after they’ve fulfilled the enforceable parts of your will and know that the other kids might get some benefit. You are just leaving that up to others.”
Newsweek reached out to u/Magewood115 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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