4.
In previous interviews, you’ve spoken about how growing up as a mixed Samoan woman in California, away from most of your family, impacted your confidence. As a fellow mixed Samoan woman who grew up the same way, I was wondering where you found that confidence to be able to write and direct these movies because I think sometimes we feel like, “Oh no, I’m not Samoan enough.”
That is a sentence I am very familiar with: “I’m not Samoan enough.” Half my dad’s family lived in Northern California — I’m in Southern California — or back in Samoa, and so there was really a disconnect. Part of that honestly was because of my dad, too, and him dealing with some of his own identity issues as I was growing up. And so, I felt a lot of insecurity about that. I would say being Samoan is always something I’ve been really proud of, but it’s something I always mentioned with caveats, to try to make other people feel better about it, but also to make myself feel better. Like, “I’m Samoan, but yeah, I know I don’t look so Samoan,” to make it feel okay for everybody else. I’m not joking, I used to have a picture of my grandparents in my bag when I was really young.
BuzzFeed: So you could whip it out as proof?
Yeah, as if I needed it! Nobody’s even asking me for proof. But I felt so insecure about it. I don’t know that I’m a fully-recovered insecure afakasi [mixed Samoan] woman, but I have come a long way. Even taking the job on the Moana live-action, which was my first Moana project, my first thought after getting that job was: “Am I Samoan enough? Is our community going to be upset that I’m the person doing this? Will they think I’m not enough to do this?” And it was very daunting. I was so excited because I love Moana, and I felt like I couldn’t believe I get to be a part of telling her story. But it’s been a process to take ownership of even just being able to be say, “I’m Samoan. I’m not gonna explain to you what that means because it’s none of your business, and I know who I am.” That I would say has been a two-year process. It’s still new to me. It’s still fresh.
But part of that is because I took some chances I wasn’t ready to take. I took the job on the live-action film even though I felt that insecurity. I started PEAK [Pasifika Entertainment Advancement Komiti] when I was like, “Am I enough to do this? Am I the right person?” I also had a Pacific Islander writers room for this small show that didn’t end up going, and I got to work with Pacific Islanders in a room, creating, for the first time. All of these things came together at once, and I started to feel like I was a part of a bigger community. And it wasn’t a community that was asking me to qualify myself but of other people who felt very similarly. We were coming together, and we were looking at each other, and we’re like, “Oh, I see you. I see you. I see you.” And because we were seeing ourselves in each other, it gave me more confidence to be bold about taking ownership of who I am. It’s been a journey, but I am proud to be Samoan.
